Disguise

Disguise - Lene Marlin

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies,
I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

People appear to be in your life for a reason. They are either the people who give advice to you, people who are just there to listen to you, people who are there to go crazy with you and of course people who are there simply because they love you. In times of trouble or difficulties you fail to see the people who are sincerely there for you and end up hurting them instead. Its only humane because we are so cought up with our problems that we forget to stop and look at what good is around us. Everything happens for a reason. God puts us in different situations so that we learn from it and be a better person. Its not easy....in fact its never easy BUT one day we will be clear why it happened in this way. I'm still working my way through it. There are many questions but its not gonna be questioned anymore. I'm going to take it and put it some place distant from me...some place where I don't have to go to anymore....some place where I don't have to look back and have regrets on. And when I'm done with it, thats when I return to reality.

Letting Go

I've been talking to my piggy friend Lydia in New Zealand...and after pondering about it...i think she is gonna make a superb pyschologist!!! Gosh....u really can relate to me(yea i know u alwiz have)..but im just impressed with how you look at things nowaydays.Told you rite gonna steal your ideas....hehehe...So...here's something i got from her.

Is that what you call love? Not letting go after a relationship has ended only narrows down your definition of love as a feeling to own and possess. It is natural to want to be with the person you love because you want to share every part of your life with that person. But do you still want to share if all you can give now is guilt, frustration, burden, and tears of sadness? You do feel hopeless but you are not hopeless. And you know that. So what if the person you love no longer loves you or never loved you? It does change the way you should express your love, but it doesn’t change how you feel towards that person. So why force yourself not to love that person anymore when you know you can’t do it? As a matter of fact, if you can do it, it is not love to begin with. To love is not a decision that can be made. You said that you would only put that person before you and you would only want that person to be happy. But isn’t your crying and yearning reflects the opposite of that? In the end it’s all about you and what you want, and you hurt the person even more. Start to think once again with your brain and not your heart, and to feel once again with your heart and not your brain.
Love should be selfless and not selfish.
To love someone never means only when that person loves you too.
It means giving the person the freedom to love you in return.
It means having that person feeling happy being loved by you.
It means loving yourself.
And letting go means I love you.

So deep rite?? Yea i think its true but its really difficult to put into practice what a person preaches...:)

Meant to be??

Do you believe that IF things are meant to be, it would automatically fall into place? Sometimes i wonder if there is no God will all of this happen? HE see and hears everything even before we know it. In our everyday life He is there working in small ways which we tend to be ignorant about. Most of the time we take HIM for granted. We only feel that it is HIS will when something good happens to us or if it is according to our plan. What if it happens the other way round? Then would we still accept it as God's will? I believe that we go through trials and temptations because we will learn something from it and hopefully we won't do it again. It only makes us a better and stronger person. Although it is really really hard to say this when we are actually going through the troubles (rite???). Being in university for the past 3years has made me a much much stronger person. Before this i was filled with negativity(all the electrons were in my mind and body..hehe..:P). I used to worry about my future a LOT & to top that up i never thought that anything good would happen to me(pathetic rite??Or more like super -ve!). I used to wonder whether i would get into a reputable university(Well...here i am in UNITEN!), whether i would secure a good job.....whether i would ever find the right guy and get married(*wink wink*)...Haha..you may laugh about the last part but don't deny the fact that you are getting older each year and eventually you would want to settle down with someone you really love and can't live without(awwww...so sweeet)! Im pretty sure somewhere deep down in our not so tiny heart we have that longing or at least we have thought about it(rite phoebs??). It so sounds like i am preaching today...dunno why am i in a preaching mood.Hmmm....but i guess every worry we have. We just have to put it to Him in prayer and be specific(as nina always says!).Because you'll be amazed by being specific and of course by having faith...We will receive. Ask and it shall be given unto you! It may take time....but never deny the power of God!! Patience is a virtue....We may not know why its taking so long for something to happen but He has planned everything according to His perfect timing. AMEN!!

oklah...i got to go....kena pergi class...Will be updating soon...:)

Holidays..

As i lay in bed..tired from the days work...A thought flickers in my mind....A feeling deep within me...Something familiar....something i know......its.....its.....HUNGER!!! So romantic kan the earlier part???hahhaa...sampai the end the potong the romantic-ness je.Haha...I got that message from a friend(told not to reveal names)...i was like...awwww...so sweet..Well anyway i still think its sweet.That's the sweetest message i've received this holidays.So berbangga ye!!

Gonna be one week already since i've been in kuantan.What have i accomplished???Hmmm....hmmmm....hmmmmmm....have to think really hard. I guess i've watched quite a bit of movies...lazeddddd and lazeddddd at home.Online from the CC almost everyday..while waiting for mummy to finish work.Oh oh...i went jogging at Gelora...For people who know me..thats an accomplishment rite??Rite phoebe??Hahahaa...Erm...lets see besides that i bugged my doggy Hercules.The only thing i can look forward to is Phoebs coming to kuantan...YEAY!!!Thursday...will be counting the days....not for anything but have to start cleaning up my house...aduhh...hahaha..Eh eh no no...jangan marah....saje je..wanna kacau u.Haven't planned anything to do yet.Maybe i should just leave her at McD's Teluk Cempedak in the morning and pick her up at nite..hahaha..kejamnye..dun worry will think of something to do kay.
Okay got to go...must fetch mum from work....Will update soon i hope..with more crap...hahaha..Till the next blog....ciaoo people....

In Loving Memory of Aunty Geetha

28th March 2007 is the day which my dearest aunty left this world to be in a better place.It is the most sad thing which happened to me this year. I rushed down to Kuantan to attend the funeral and on the way back to uni, all i could think of is the times Ashvini and I spent together..all the fun times...all the outings...all the weirdest things we wud do and get scolding for...all the joy and all the sorrows...I think the most memorable time would have been while being neighbours.For every small thing i would run to their house.Even when i fought with my bro, i ran there to hide and shuhanth put the hockey stick outside so tht my bro wont come! there are many more things which i happened throughout this 16years being in Kuantan. All the tears and joy we endured together. It is something that i would cherish throught the years.
Aunty was like a mother to me, she always treated me like one of her children.I spent quite a lot of time with them. She took care of me when papa went for his operation,she sent me to skool when mummy was busy,she dressed me up for charity dinner,church functions and many many more...Oh one thing i would never forget is she took me to pierce my ears and amazingly i didnt scream or cry when she took me.Because mummy had tried to take me to do it, so many times but failed. Not forgetting aunty's superb cooking, the best dish no one can beat is her mutton.She had a special touch for cooking. In fact her warmth and her love touched many people around her. While writing this particular blog, im trying to recollect everything so that i can pen it down but so many things happened beyond the explanation of words...i guess silence speaks for itself.
Things happen for a reason and sometimes it is so difficult to accept especially when we have to let go of our dear ones...I know aunty is in a better place now watching over us...i'm gonna miss u a lot....I LOVE YOU!!


Wings Of The Angels

A gentle wind blew cross the land

Reaching out to take a hand

For on the winds the angels came

Calling out a mother's name.

Left behind, the children's tears

Loving memories of the years

Of joy and love, a life well spent

And now to God a mother's sent

On angel's wings, a heavenly flight

The journey home, towards the light

To those who weep, a life is gone

But in God's love, 'tis but the dawn.

My fren sent me this email about what ur birthday month means...or more like the traits of people in that particular month...so i decided to paste mine..read on kalau free sangat..haha.:P

JUNE = LUST
Fun to be with. Loves to try new
things. Boy/girls LOVE you.
You are very hott. Secretive.
Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or
tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has
reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about
people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly.
Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and
unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and
sparkly.
spazzy at times.Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things.
Guides others physically and mentally.
Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong
sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always
broods
about the past and the old friends.
Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not
aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved.
Easily hurt
but takes long to recover...

So what do u all think??anything true bout me??

Out of Bordem

shwe ying tagged me...so since i was free...i decided to fill in the blanks...so here goes...


Layer One:On The Outside
Name : Sarah Navita
Birth Date : 2 June 1985(yea yea...old dy)
Current status : single
Eye Colour : dark brown kot
Hair Colour : black with brown highlights
Righty or Lefty : Lefty!! we are special..ahahhaa

Layer Two :On The Inside
Your Heritage : Indian
Your Fears : Not getting thru uni..
Your Weakness : laziness...
Your Perfect Pizza : pizza with loads of cheese and pineapples...and oh ya..chicken..hehe...

Layer Three :Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow
Your Thoughts First Waking Up : aduh...another day?
Your Bedtime : Depends how tired i am..but usually after 12am..
Your Most Missed Memory : Just hanging out in school with no worries...at all..

Layer Four : Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : coke
McDonald's or Burger King : Burger King
Single or Group Dates : well depends...single is cool..but if the guy is boring then group...hahahaha
Adidas or Nike : dun care...not a brand concious person.
Tea or Nestea : Tea more specific TEH AIS!!
Chocolate or Vanilla : Vanilla
Cappucino or Coffee : Coffee...tea or me?hahaha...lame

Layer Five : Do You..
Smoke : Nope.
Curse : I have when ppl like alex paksa me...haha...
Take a shower : duh...im believe in being clean..n smell good..
Have a crush : Nope
Think you've been in love : i guess if u consider being cheated by the guy u trusted...now i wonder whether i was in love..
Go to school : yup..wish i didnt have to..
Want to get married : yea
Believe in yourself : sometimes
Think you're a health freak : NO! But phoebe is!

Layer Six : In The Past Month
Drank alcohol : Nope
Gone to the mall : ya
Been on stage : Nope
Eaten sushi : no...dun like the thought of raw food..
Dyed your hair : nope

Layer Seven : Have You Ever..
Played A Stripping Game : Nope
Changed Who You Were To Fit In : Nope.

Layer Eight : Age You're Hoping
To Be Married : 28

Layer Nine : In a Girl/Guy
Best Eye Colour : Blue
Best Hair Colour : brown
Short Hair or Long Hair : average length but groomed well..

Layer Ten : What Were You Doing
1 Min Ago : lazing on phoebs bed
1 Hour Ago : tried to do M.O.M
4.5 Hours Ago : bath..haha..
1 Month Ago : probably lazy around...hahaha..
1 Year Ago: was in uni being a pig i guess...haha..

Layer Eleven : Finish The Sentence
I Love : God, my family and friends
I Feel : lazy
I Hate : people who are no sincere!
I Hide : my deepest darkest secrets
I Miss : my mummy
I Need : to study

Layer Twelve : Tag Five People
1) Jason
2) Cheow
3) Malathi
4) Nagen
5) Bala